Gnomes
by Mie-chan
Summary: So, Gen-chan and the pink, fluffy bunnies. This was inspired by a dream.- Somehow he wears boxers and moddern cloths... friekin' wierd, man. So, yeah, read if you dare! R


**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of Watase-sensei's marvelous creations; I do not own any other of the marvelous creations created by any other manga-ka or story writer. (Manga-kas like Takahashi-sensei, CLAMP-senseis, or any other characters from, various stories I may choose to incorporate into this fic.)

_This being my second fic, you may be new to how this works. I am Mie-chan, hello. Shinju-chan is my best friend; I am her superior. (Gets whacked in the head by 'best plastic model tessen money can buy.')_

_I am, of course, referring to CLAMP's first volume of the wonderful series xxxHOLIC._

_Also, new, is my friend Aru-chan (new member on the family)._

_**SHAMELESS ADVERTIZING: **Everyday Defects. This was my first fic, like it or not, it may help explain a few things that will not be explained in this fic. Many thanks to Rinoa-chan._

_Ahem, welcome to my demented world... heheheh._

I woke up at exactly five AM to the blood curdling, terrified scream of a young, flame-haired man. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! The pinkness! The pinkness!"

I got up and grumbled. 'Not again,' I thought, 'He's having nightmares again...'

"Get it offa me! Get it oooooooooooooooooooff!!!!"

Let me introduce you to this new life I have encountered. My name is Mie. I am currently 5'3", thirteen, and thoroughly pissed.

It all started yesterday, a normal day, a normal lunch of PB&J, a normal boredom... Then it all changed, suddenly, I was no longer home in my living room eating PB&J. No. Instead, I was in a strange place I had never seen before... um... eating a PB&J.

**Chapter One: Bananas and the Pink, Fluffy Bunnies**

Let me describe this strange new place: The color of the sky changes constantly, there are almost no people there, there are tons and tons of bunnies in all colors, and then there are... the little people. I'm pretty sure they're little; can't be certain. But one thing I know is that they come in at night and send nightmares to a certain, young bandit named Genrou.

Now, some of you may know him as "Tasuki" or even "Shun'u," but he insists upon being called "Genrou." Genrou is the leader of the Mount. Reikaku Bandits, he is also seishi member Tasuki, and, finally, Kou Shun'u with five sisters, a mother, and a barely noticeable father. There, some nice back-round info. You also might want to know, that since the night we met, he's had these freakish dreams... er... nightmares about pink, fluffy bunnies eating him alive. Go figure. I really don't get it.

Anyway, I should start with the present... Oh, and, Gen-chan wears boxers with the words "rabid" on them. I don't think you want him to bite you... what if he's foaming?!?

"The pinkness! The pinkness! Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Genrou squealed.

"Okay, here we go," I said as I prepared to go through the now daily routine of waking the seishi bandit up. "One... two... THREE!" I yelled. I flopped (er... jumped) dramatically on to his stomach, knocking his breath out of him.

His eyes opened and he squirmed, struggling for breath. "Hlp (Help)!" He slowly deflated (you know, they do this all the time in manga), going limp.

I got off him, pulled out my pump and started the inflating process, which, if done correctly, will restore a person to his or her original form in about ten to fifteen minutes.

After inflation process, Genrou and I sat together eating some bananas we had found.

"What th' hell're these things?!?"

_I have no clue whether or not they had bananas in Ancient China, I'm assuming not._

"They're bananas," I said, "I don't really like bananas, but they're good enough. At least they're edible, unlike yesterday when you mistook that bowl filled with poison ivy for some sort of salad. You must have been starving."

"Urusai yo [Shut up]!!! That was an honest mistake! Anyone that hungry could have thought that!!!" He glared at me.

"Okay, fine, nan de mo [whatever]. Just eat the damn thing!"

"Umm... how?" I stared at him disbelieving; he stared back, genuine puzzlement written on his face.

"'How'?!?" I burst out laughing, "Baka [Idiot]!" I demonstrated. First, I pealed one um... section of the peal (I guess, what would you say?!?) down, then the same with the others. I took a bite off the top slowly, as if demonstrating to a child how to eat a banana. "Now, I think you can do that. Do you understand chiisai [little] Gen-chan?"

He growled at me. "I'm not a little kid!"

"Really? You sure as hell act like one! Now, eat, damn you!" He took a careful bite.

"Don't worry, it's not poisonous."

He took a few more bites. "Hey," he said, stunned, "This is... good..." He took a few more bites and then he was done. He reached for another and started to eat it.

After thirty or so minutes, we lay on our backs on the soft, blue grass, staring up at the green sky, bellies content and full of bananas. Then, I heard something strange. "Hey, Genrou, do you hear that?" I said.

"Hear what?" His voice didn't sound too concerned, he was too tired to worry about a some sound only I heard.

"It sounds... strange. I dunno, like a sort of scuttling... Not human, that's for sure..."

I saw a bush nearby rustle.

"It's... it's over there!" I pointed to the spot the rustling had come from. Then there was a flash of pink and a fluffy, little bunny about three feet tall was standing up on its hind-legs, pointing a minuscule cop gun at us.

"Put 'em up!" he (er I _think_ it was a he... kinda hard to tell when it's pink) said.

I dubbled over, laughing. However, Genrou was hiding behind me in terror, whispering, "The pinkness, the pinkness."

"Um... hello, _officer_ what is that we've done wrong?" I asked, shaking with laughter.

He looked at me shrewdly. "Well," he said with a Texas accent, "for one thing, yer makin' fun of an officer, and fo' anotha' you's committed a number one capital offense of eatin' bananas in public."

This was too much. I fell over laughing, which, consequently, gave Genrou a smaller space to hide. He gave out a frightened shriek and ran behind a tree that was too skinny for him to hind under. The bunny didn't notice.

At that point, I ran out of ideas to type and something fell on my head. A carrot. "Officer Bunny" looked at my head, as if there was something disgusting on it.

"What, is there something on my face?" I asked.

"No, just the most gruesome, horrible thing: a carrot!" He took a step back from me.

"I thought bunnies... er... sophisticated rabbits loved carrots." He recoiled at the mention of the word.

"We do not speak of such things as... vegetables." He hissed the last word as if it were a crime.

"Um, this is getting kinda... awkward..." so I considered deleting this whole thing and starting from the top. But, then I decided I was too lazy and would just have to tough it out.

"So, Fluzzie-san," I said, now that I knew his name, "Why are bananas and veggies evil?"

"It happened long ago, when our king choked on a banana stuffed with vegetables that he was elergic to and died."

"That's... sad."

"So, what about your friend there?" He pointed to Genrou.

"Him?" I looked over at the quivering Genrou who was unsuccesfully trying to hide and spy from behind a rotting log.

"He has a phobia of pink rabbits."

"Ah, the little people, I see."

"Well, I don't. Will you please explain?"

"It all started long ago..."

_Chapter Preview?_

_Genrou: Well quivers there are more bunnies than ever, I thought it would never get out... and... Oh the horror! It's escaped!!! It's escaped!!!! Help me!!!! What th' hell 're ya torturin' me so?!?_

_Mie-chan: Muahahaha!!!!! I am evil! Evil I tell you, EVIL!!!!! What a cliff hanger!!! This gives you time to go read my other fic!!!!!_


End file.
